Goth Dating : The first date

You or your love interest made the first move get your phone number, email or contact info and offered a date. Hooray! Whether you are the one who made the first move, had a friend lend a hand with the introduction, or it's from an online dating network, the key thing is having a nice plan to make the date successful, comfortable and safe.

Communicating over the phone is the best way to set a date, time and place where your first date will take place. With this day and age of texting, Facebook email and other various social networking media, the best method is the good old-fashioned way of speaking on the phone using your voice. GASP! Yes, I know it is a scary thought (even for a goth), but it's the most personal and direct way to break the ice and plan the date together.

Set the date:

Choose a date where both of you can designate a few hours to enjoy your first date experience with your potential mate. Don't schedule the date around other important appointments or work, as you don't want to micromanage your date experience. Maybe a Friday the 13th of that month will set the gothy ambiance.

Set a time:

While most dark clad 'creatures of the night' prefer burning the midnight oil rather than burning up in the daytime sun, the best bet is to pick a time in the evening for your special outing. The reason why an evening date is suggested is that most date-type activities don't have late night hours, so this opens you both up to suggest more options. Perhaps between 7pm-9pm is a good goth first date suggested 'witching hours'.

Set up the date's activity:

Discuss with your date what you would both enjoy doing together. It's a good idea to have some suggestions rolling around in your brain meats before you call and/or receive the ice-breaking, date planning phone call.

Here are some date activity suggestions:

• Grabbing a cup of coffee and take a stroll in the cemetery
• Going to a local art exhibit or art museum
• A light picnic in the cemetery with tea, sandwiches and fresh fruit
• Dinner-I would discuss any food allergies or dietary preferences (vegan, vegetarian, etc.)

Staying away from taking your date to a concert, loud eating establishment, or anything involving no talking, would be advised against. Even though some goths may be shy, it's a first date and best time to try and get to know each better!

While nerves may get the best of you while you're preparing yourself for your gothy first date with your love interest, don't psyche yourself out! Relax, take a breath and just be your most truest dark-inclined self. Every goth wants a chance at true love and even though it may not be love at first bite....errrr, I mean sight, just like a lovely thorny rose, love takes time to blossom.

Here are some Do's and Dont's:

• Do primp and preen yourself for your date. Everyone's crazy about a well dressed goth, so based on your date activity, dress in your best gothy garments and put on your best smelling potions and lotions.
• Do bring your date a small gothy token. Though it's not necessary, most goth's love flowers like; red roses, calla lilies (they are a lovely funeral flower) or a single black dahlia. You don't need to purchase a bouquet, as a single flower is very romantic and thoughtful gesture.
• Do ask your date questions about themselves. Keep the conservation flowing with questions like; What movies to they like? Favorite goth bands? What is their favorite author? Keep the questions light-hearted and simple, listen and offer little details about yourself.
• Don't start talking about all your woe's, problems and medications you are on. While not all black clad individuals are 'Debbie Downers' (as a goth does not equal a miserable soul or chemically imbalanced), we are draw to the beauty of the darkness for obvious reasons, yet there are some sorrow that does accompany the lifestyle. A date is not a good time to depress your date with negativity, rather it's a time to put your best Dr. Marten forward and 'wow' them with your morbid sense of humor and fangy smile.
• Don't make assumptions that just because your goth date enjoys the lifestyle that they know everything about the subculture. Gothiness is often associated with pretentiousness, so don't judge your date or rate them based on baited questions. Goths are just like anyone else and there is a variety of knowledge, experiences and opinions within the lifestyle. Basically, don't be an elitist on your date, it's not very becoming. *Wink*
• Don't bring the date with an uncomfortable place by talking about sex, over sexualizing things or be forceful.
• Do have fun and be yourself!

Good luck on your gothy first date, I hope you find a romantically dark clad connection.